Will I Ever Be A Wifey?

Will I ever be a wifey?

I've asked my self this question many times over the past few months. Don't worry I'm not a crazy cat loving old lady with bad BO. It's not that I'm scared of not becoming one: I'm scared of my lack of desire to become one. Basically I don't know if I'm the wifey type, or if I even want to be. Not that I'm a hoe (which to boys seems to be the only viable alternative) I just don't really know if I'll ever be that girl that Kano calls 'Nite Nite.'



wifey type?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have been a boy? Even though I'm a massive diva, love to shop and the heels have gotta be at least 4 inches, a lot of my attitudes and values, towards relationships in particular, are quite male. Sometimes I find myself, editing my truest thoughts when relaying stories to females, just so I don't seem like a cold hearted bitch. And it doesn't help that most of my closest friends are ideal wifeys. Even my sister and her best friend (my unofficially adopted sister) know that when they enter the world of dating on a serious level it will be at a wifey status. But I guess it can be bad sometimes: I have a friend who is so sweet and beautiful and loyal that she is instantly labelled wifey by anyone and everyone she meets, (to be fair she will be a wonderful wife and mother one day) but that's not all she is. She's funny and crazy and clever and truth be told, from what I can gather, she's a bit of a freak. But there are a few foolish, foolish boys who don't wana be with her right now because she's 'wifey' and they aren't looking for wifey right now. The thing about (some) boys is that they go out and play the field while wifey waits for them to be ready for her. While wifey is waiting though, there will be no field playing of any sort - because wifeys just don't do that.

Then there's the fact that to some people, being a wifey equals being a mug. And to a certain extent there has to be some 'muggishness' involved. A wifey loves unconditionally and, yes sometimes that means putting up with complete and utter bullshit and still being there. A wifey puts her man before herself, her needs, her wants, before everything. And I think that's partly my problem, not that I can't put a boyfriend before myself but at this point on my life, I don't think I want to put a boyfriend before my family, my friends, my social life, my degree ... you get the point. And that's not a slur on anyone who is ready to do that, that's just not me right now.


Like I said, it's not that I can't be a wifey; my heart is not made of stone, I'm not incapable of love, I have loved and loved hard too. But right now? I just don't feel like it. Simple as that. You may be thinking, this girl is only 21, what is she worrying about anyway? She has plenty of time to be wifey, but realistically, as me and my housemate worked out the other day, when you're young you make a perfect little life plan that goes like this: if the average woman pops out baby number 1 at 28 and lets just say in a ideal situation you've had a couple of years married bliss without a little bundle of joy beforehand and you knew each other for around 3 years before that? Plus inbetween the married bliss and popping the question bit you need a year or so to save for the actual wedding right? Oh and P.S my high flying and incredibly successful career has to fit into all this somewhere. So if my calculations are correct that means that my wifey fear needs to disapear within the next year or so. Yes this is a physco thing to do, but we have all done it!

wifey in practice

But this is not me saying that every girl over the age of 22 needs to go out and find her future hubby immediately, life doesn't work like that this was just my crazy silly little life plan, that at 16 I kind of assumed would just happen. Aa lot has changed in the 5 years since I was 16 and right now I'm not too sure of anything that the next 5 years will bring, other than that a lot more will change. So to wifey or not to wifey? That is the question. I haven't got the answer yet, and I don't need it, because for now I'm happy.

Home for Christmas

Top Ten Reasons Why I am Ecstatic to be Home

1. Warmth - yes for 3 whole weeks I don't have to sit huddled up to house mates in 3 jumpers and a dressing gown because we are too worried about bills to put the heat back on

2. Food - wondering what there is to eat and the answer not being pasta. I am so excited for my diet to consist of more than pasta, cheese and mayonasise.

3. A Table - it will be such a treat, not only to eat nice food, but to eat food off of an actual table

4. The Famo - my mum, dad, bro and sis. especially banter with the bro and sis: my 'lesbian' hair cut and 'shortness' compared to them, his big head and girlie scream, her squinty eyes and small forehead - it's how siblings bond

5. Washing - "Here you go mum I brought you a lovely big bag of dirty clothes for Christmas. Love you."

6. Freebies - "When you go to Sainbury's can you just get me some face wipes, shampoo, conditioner and hair spray, oh and you might as well pick me up some eyelashes and wine while your there - just saying

7. LIFTS - car beats the bus/train any day every day =D

8. The Extended Family - I welcome madness back into my life with fully open arms

happy families

9. Presents - family comes bearing gifts? always a bonus

10. TV - watching Christmas TV on my big lush tele while sat on my big lush leather sofa. Eastenders and Corrie? yes flipping please

And A Few Down Points ...

1. Famo - mum and sis - ok I love you now, lets see how much I love you 1 week, 3 rows and 6 borrowed items of clothing later

2. Rules - ok so not rules as such, but having to actually tell another person that your going out, what time you'll be back and whether you want dinner or not

3. Expensive Nights Out - "but what do you mean it's not free to get in with a student card?" £8 entry, £6 drinks and no student loan until January = an early night

Selfish Much?

Just a brief one today:

Thank you to the selfish bastards who snapped up the entire Lanvin for H&M collection within the first millisecond of release only to sell it on ebay for extortionate amounts. Thank you in particular to whoever took MY yellow dress, you shouldn't have, I couldn't afford it anyway. And yes, I knew it was going to happen, but it doesn't make it hurt any less ok. To all the genuine girls who brought pieces out of sheer love for fashion, enjoy them, you deserve them, just spare a thought for the less fortunate girls this Christmas.

Goodbye yellow dress.

procrastination aka putting shit off

It's that time of year again, sleigh bells are ringing, christmas songs are blaring out all over the radio, and deadlines are coming.

Sitting at my computer, I thought to myself, hmmm I haven't written my blog in a while. But I have a confession to make: even though I love writing my blog, the real reason I am writing this post is to avoid doing uni work. So far I have facebooked for nearly two hours, bbm-ed till my fingers cramped up, watched 2 shit TV programmes and 1 good programme (yes the good one was Eastenders) and put some washing on. I am seriously considering cleaning my room; had there been a party on tonight, or even a magazine lying around that I hadn't already read, the thought would not have crossed my mind. But that's what deadlines do to you, EVERYTHING except your work becomes interesting.

My usual approach to work is to spend the first 2 months of the term partying and then the last month panicking. (Kind of convenient though that deadline time coincides with loans running out so noone can go out much anyway.) Me and Tam (anyone who knows her will get my drift) have this conversation about once a week:

Tam: ok lets get together and do work
Sian: omg ok we have so much to do
Tam: yeah i know, don't talk about it cuz i feel sick
Sian: omg me too now
*tears, tantrums and warnings of 'I'm gunna be sick'*
(this usually takes a good 2/3 hours)
Sian: I'm hungary
Tam: Sian! We haven't got time to eat
*they eat*
*facebook*
Sian: Oh shit we haven't done any work
Tam: Omg I know
Sian: Ok lets do it tomorrow
Tam: Ok we have to do it though
Sian: Ok, we will

I'm assuming you can guess what happens the next day ...

The problem is, we have choosen to be here, doing a degree of specific interest to us, a degree with a pretty hefty price tag attached to it. So why do we spend so much time putting off doing a subject we choose to do? That we potentially want a career in? I can't asnwer that, all I know is that we all do it at some point.

Lets be honest, this post probably hasn't been the most stimulating piece of written work that you have read in your adult life so far, but I bet it's been a whole lot more interesting if you've got work to do ;)