Will I Ever Be A Wifey?

Will I ever be a wifey?

I've asked my self this question many times over the past few months. Don't worry I'm not a crazy cat loving old lady with bad BO. It's not that I'm scared of not becoming one: I'm scared of my lack of desire to become one. Basically I don't know if I'm the wifey type, or if I even want to be. Not that I'm a hoe (which to boys seems to be the only viable alternative) I just don't really know if I'll ever be that girl that Kano calls 'Nite Nite.'



wifey type?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have been a boy? Even though I'm a massive diva, love to shop and the heels have gotta be at least 4 inches, a lot of my attitudes and values, towards relationships in particular, are quite male. Sometimes I find myself, editing my truest thoughts when relaying stories to females, just so I don't seem like a cold hearted bitch. And it doesn't help that most of my closest friends are ideal wifeys. Even my sister and her best friend (my unofficially adopted sister) know that when they enter the world of dating on a serious level it will be at a wifey status. But I guess it can be bad sometimes: I have a friend who is so sweet and beautiful and loyal that she is instantly labelled wifey by anyone and everyone she meets, (to be fair she will be a wonderful wife and mother one day) but that's not all she is. She's funny and crazy and clever and truth be told, from what I can gather, she's a bit of a freak. But there are a few foolish, foolish boys who don't wana be with her right now because she's 'wifey' and they aren't looking for wifey right now. The thing about (some) boys is that they go out and play the field while wifey waits for them to be ready for her. While wifey is waiting though, there will be no field playing of any sort - because wifeys just don't do that.

Then there's the fact that to some people, being a wifey equals being a mug. And to a certain extent there has to be some 'muggishness' involved. A wifey loves unconditionally and, yes sometimes that means putting up with complete and utter bullshit and still being there. A wifey puts her man before herself, her needs, her wants, before everything. And I think that's partly my problem, not that I can't put a boyfriend before myself but at this point on my life, I don't think I want to put a boyfriend before my family, my friends, my social life, my degree ... you get the point. And that's not a slur on anyone who is ready to do that, that's just not me right now.


Like I said, it's not that I can't be a wifey; my heart is not made of stone, I'm not incapable of love, I have loved and loved hard too. But right now? I just don't feel like it. Simple as that. You may be thinking, this girl is only 21, what is she worrying about anyway? She has plenty of time to be wifey, but realistically, as me and my housemate worked out the other day, when you're young you make a perfect little life plan that goes like this: if the average woman pops out baby number 1 at 28 and lets just say in a ideal situation you've had a couple of years married bliss without a little bundle of joy beforehand and you knew each other for around 3 years before that? Plus inbetween the married bliss and popping the question bit you need a year or so to save for the actual wedding right? Oh and P.S my high flying and incredibly successful career has to fit into all this somewhere. So if my calculations are correct that means that my wifey fear needs to disapear within the next year or so. Yes this is a physco thing to do, but we have all done it!

wifey in practice

But this is not me saying that every girl over the age of 22 needs to go out and find her future hubby immediately, life doesn't work like that this was just my crazy silly little life plan, that at 16 I kind of assumed would just happen. Aa lot has changed in the 5 years since I was 16 and right now I'm not too sure of anything that the next 5 years will bring, other than that a lot more will change. So to wifey or not to wifey? That is the question. I haven't got the answer yet, and I don't need it, because for now I'm happy.