So I Sold My Soul for 'Pocket Money'

So do you want to hear something funny? I work in retail, have done since I was about 16, and I hate it. The reason I work in retail ... because I'm addicted to it.

I have to work in shops to fund my addiction to them, ironic isn't it? But my new job has taken me to an all time low: lets put it this way - I wear a tracksuit to work, and for a fashion student who pretty much revolves her life around her wardrobe - this has been somewhat hard to deal with. It's such a catch 22; I'm going agaisnt every fashion concious bone in my body, but I have to in order to be fashion concious! It's not really the fact that I have to wear a tracksuit, it's actually kind of comfortable (but don't tell anyone I said that), it's the fact that people SEE me in it. Every time I walk to work, I feel my social status slip a little lower.

In all honesty, if I was careful with my money I could live off my student loan, but at the end of the day H&M makes me happy and so will my summer holiday next year. My mum always says to me, "Sian, you don't live like a student, you shouldn't be shopping every week and getting your nails done and what not." But what is living like a student? Eating tins of beans whilst wearing 7 layers 'cause you can't afford to put the heating on? Ok, so sometimes this does happen when the money is wearing thin, but when it isn't, I intend to enjoy it. I'm not talking 5 star holidays and Jimmy Choos but I refuse to go three years without the occasional ... treat, shall we say. I put on that hideous uniform and let my brain go numb with bordem for about 16 hours (I would say I smile while I do it, but I really don't) so when pay day rolls around, I'm going to enjoy the benefits as irresponsibly as I like. I think the moral of the blog is: it just depends how hard your willing to work for things that you want. I want new clothes and trip to Ibiza more than I want fresh air, so I do things that I don't want to do, in order to do things that I do want to do. It's a lesson you get taught when your knee high but i guess it just gets more real and more raw when you get older.

And when I have kids, I will teach them the same lesson, no matter how rich me and Johnny Deep are, I will make them have a shitty job with an ugly uniform - just to make absolutely sure that when nice things come their way, they appreciate it.