Is there such thing as uncomplicated?

Love is complicated. Even the build up to love is complicated, the dating, the texting, the facebook stalking, the 'linking up', the reading between the lines, and the analysing EVERYTHING - by the time you actually fall in love you'll be mentally exhausted.

And even when your not in love, or falling in love it's STILL complicated. Two very simple words: 'just friends'; and yet being 'just friends' can cause some of the most complex kind of heart ache there is. I mean what right do you have to be heartbroken over a friend right? And when you do genuwinely just want to be friends with someone who likes you, will you be labled a head fuck? Are you just leading them on?

To be honest I'm pretty sceptial about the whole 'just friends' thing anyway. My theory is that the only way that boys and girls can truly be friends is if they meet in a completely neutral situation, where they are thrown together through no choice of their own, eg school or work - and even then there are grey areas. But lets be honest, when a guy comes up to you a club, I'm pretty sure that he isn't looking for friendship. Which is why, it's so difficult to justify chatting to guys/girls when your in a relationship. Obviously I'm not saying that every girl/guy who speaks to each other is looking to get it on, but there are some situations when it's pretty obvious whats coming next. So how do you make it clear from the start, that you're not looking to get it on, without looking like an arrogant prick:

Guy: So can I have your number?
Girl: No I'm really sorry, I have a boyfriend (she doesn't)
Guy: Errrm, I just wanted you to hook me up with your hot friend. (he didn't)
Girl: Oh. *long pause* I have to go to the toilet now. (again she doesn't)

And then there's the ones that go like this

Guy: Whats your pin babes?
Girl: Sorry I have a boyfriend and he doesn't like me giving it out
Guy: Don't worry it's just a friendship ting enit
Girl: Oh ok its ********

2 days later on bbm
Guy: You're so buff babes. What you wearing?
Girl: *delete contact*

Tell me this: how the hell are you supposed to know what any member of the opposite sex is thinking - EVER? Wouldn't it be great if we could be just friends with people we don't fancy without them thinking that we're playing hard to get or leading on them on. And wouldn't it be even better if we could be just friends with people we do fancy without falling for them? And wouldn't it just be the absolute best if there was no such thing as 'friends with benefits' - because trust me, communication between boys and girls is complicated enough without throwing that one in the mix.

So I Sold My Soul for 'Pocket Money'

So do you want to hear something funny? I work in retail, have done since I was about 16, and I hate it. The reason I work in retail ... because I'm addicted to it.

I have to work in shops to fund my addiction to them, ironic isn't it? But my new job has taken me to an all time low: lets put it this way - I wear a tracksuit to work, and for a fashion student who pretty much revolves her life around her wardrobe - this has been somewhat hard to deal with. It's such a catch 22; I'm going agaisnt every fashion concious bone in my body, but I have to in order to be fashion concious! It's not really the fact that I have to wear a tracksuit, it's actually kind of comfortable (but don't tell anyone I said that), it's the fact that people SEE me in it. Every time I walk to work, I feel my social status slip a little lower.

In all honesty, if I was careful with my money I could live off my student loan, but at the end of the day H&M makes me happy and so will my summer holiday next year. My mum always says to me, "Sian, you don't live like a student, you shouldn't be shopping every week and getting your nails done and what not." But what is living like a student? Eating tins of beans whilst wearing 7 layers 'cause you can't afford to put the heating on? Ok, so sometimes this does happen when the money is wearing thin, but when it isn't, I intend to enjoy it. I'm not talking 5 star holidays and Jimmy Choos but I refuse to go three years without the occasional ... treat, shall we say. I put on that hideous uniform and let my brain go numb with bordem for about 16 hours (I would say I smile while I do it, but I really don't) so when pay day rolls around, I'm going to enjoy the benefits as irresponsibly as I like. I think the moral of the blog is: it just depends how hard your willing to work for things that you want. I want new clothes and trip to Ibiza more than I want fresh air, so I do things that I don't want to do, in order to do things that I do want to do. It's a lesson you get taught when your knee high but i guess it just gets more real and more raw when you get older.

And when I have kids, I will teach them the same lesson, no matter how rich me and Johnny Deep are, I will make them have a shitty job with an ugly uniform - just to make absolutely sure that when nice things come their way, they appreciate it.

Will It All Be Worth It?

I have been fairly negligent of my blog these past few weeks, mainly due to the excitement/stress of starting my 2nd year of university. Enjoying freshers week all over again, and trying to settle into the new house, which has been challenging at times (we tried to put a T.V bracket on our wall and it literally crumbled away, this was a few days after the break in - but that's another blog).

I have been eager to come back to uni since about 2.5 days into the summer holidays, but as I look ahead not only to my second year but to life beyond studying it begs the question: is it all going to be worth it? Every time I open a newspaper, there's another article ranting about rising fees (thanks for your proposal Lord Browne), and lack of jobs available, condemning graduates to years of debt and unemployment, which doesn't exactly fill me with confidence. Although I'm realistic enough to know that I probably won't stroll out of my lecture hall and into the vogue editors office, I'm really hoping that the world of work isn't as bleak as those who are already in it, make it out to be.

With the average student graduating with debt in excess of 20,000, you'd be forgiven for thinking that people are put off going to uni, but it seems that the British like debt and binge drinking more than I thought because between 1999 - 2009, the number of students has risen by 44%. But this in itself creates problems: degrees are like designer bags, the more people that have one, the less valuable they become. The reality is that so many people graduate these days, that an employer is no longer impressed by a degree. Hence where work experience comes in - a degree means next to nothing without it - but even unpaid work making tea and sorting post can be hard to come by.

One of the main reasons that I am able to laugh at my abysmal financial situation and my dull, unfulfilling and underpaid part time job is this assumption I have, that it won't always be like this. And despite all the negative press surrounding graduate job prospects, it's an assumption I am going to hold on to until I am proved otherwise. So here's hoping that the big bad world of work isn't as bad as they say, and that I graduate with more than a mountain of debt and a 3 year hangover.